Downhillers VS Roadies

While prepping my tools and parts for this transition to a road bike for the next 6 months I have been putting away most of my baggy downhill gear and chuckled when busting out the bibs and skin suit roadie stuff and I started to think how one gets so entangled into opposite sides of the spectrum. So I thought I would write on the subject.

I have never been that much of a roadie over the years of my competitive cycling. My first road bike was a 80's steel frame Schwinn that was way to big for me and had toe clips. Needless to say it was the start of frantically trying to get your foot out before sacrificing my genitals on the top tube and hitting the asphalt since there was no standover. The only differences I have noticed from the downhill MTB crowd vs the roadies is technology but the demographics seem to have staying power that rivals a Vegas STD. Since I am legitimately both I guess I can get away with the real details and make fun of myself.

Demographics of the Roadie Stereotype

Granola crunching, Latte sipping, Leg shaving, Prius driving, weight weenie. These are the yuppies that are dropping major coin to shave grams on their water bottle cages. The tech nerds that hover over the counter salivating on the newest power meter gadgets and talking to each other in watts while slipping and falling in grocery stores when wearing their 300 dollar Italian bike shoes. They can usually be found at a coffee shop listening to nora jones on their iPhone and discussing the intricacies of riding on cobble streets and the dynamics of bruised bananas in their jerseys during a metric century. They will often be found riding 3 or more abreast off the fog line taking up a whole lane but will still flip you the bird for not "sharing the road". They will always have a matching dayglo florescent kit from socks to gloves and wont buy anything that doesn't match the bike. They will buy a 300 dollar helmet every year because the last one was 3 grams too heavy. They don't smoke, would never stay out past 8 and have a single digit body fat percentage and will always be bragging of that one minor case of road rash. They ride in pace lines drafting each other staring at each other butt while leaving a trail of GU wrappers. They pretend they are cars when the light is green but will be pedestrians when the light is red. Dont even get me started on the whole Fixie/Hipster trend.

Demographics of the Downhiller/MTB Stereotype


This group is the sloping forehead, dragging knuckle, beer guzzling, pickup truck driving, vulgar mouth breathing, GED holding, energy drink and junk food addicts. These groms are the ones pushing their bikes for miles to get a 3 minute ride in and be on the brakes the whole time. They can usually be found at a chair lift operated resort in the bar slamming down 40 bucks of beers and shots while eating a 99 cent hot dogs and Doritos to feed the "munchies" before they get their 250 lb carcass and 45 lb bike on the lift for another non pedaling run down the mountain. You can hear the squealing of their brakes a mile away and there is no bark on the trees next the trails from constant crashes. The only time you will see them pedal is in the parking lots and they leave a trail of chains and derailleurs down the trails. They will always be shoveling new jump lines and hacking down trees to make the newest "Huck" in hopes they will be in a movie. They will always have their headphones in listening to Slayer at full volume and will have to buy a new 400 dollar troy lee designs helmet every year because the last one was demolished. They are usually missing a sock because they had to take a crap somewhere along the trail and can often be cracking joke about each others moms. They brag about the hardware holding their bones together and complain about getting stitches over the top of their fresh tribal tattoo's. Dont even get me started on the Dirtjumper trend.

But in the long run it is still two people spending 3-5 grand to get out and ride. In my case I feel at home on both sides.